Holidays and Family

Over the last 6 and a half years I've slowly begun that process of not necessarily being at home for holidays. It was the 4th of July, and then Easter, an odd New Year's away, then Thanksgiving, and this year it will be Christmas. This isn't because I don't love my family--I do. I even enjoy spending time with them and genuinely like their company. Admittedly there's a two to three week limit on this, but I think that's pretty good.
No, I've missed holidays at home because of realities in my life--realities of money and time. Practical realities. And this is something that is only going to happen more often. My life, the one I chose, includes a fairly demanding schedule and certain inflexible areas which often fall around holidays.
And I'm okay with that. Partly because I knew this when I made my choice. But also because my family is not one of those families which has a dozen Christmas traditions. I wish that was different. Which is also why this is strange. I know I would make the same choice and I would still not be going home for Christmas this year. And I know that this would make being away from home more difficult. But it would also give me something of Christmastime at Home to create here. It would help me feel connected to my family, even over hundreds of miles and really practical realities.
And all of that makes me a little sad. Because I will miss my family. Because of the story of why we don't have many Christmas traditions. Because I don't know where we will all be next year or what we will be doing.
I don't see an easy solution to this. For a lot of practical reasons neither my family nor I are ever likely to find it easy to travel for Holidays.
Which is, well, not fine, but part of life and something we'll work through.
Right now, though, I wonder what traditions I want to start building for my own life and if and how or when I could invite my family into those traditions.

Division

I'm quite openly Episcopalian. I know I haven't been here long, but trust me, this is a hard fact in my life. And my church has been getting a lot of press in the last few years. There was the gay bishop and now there's this division that will be in the headlines.
And I am sad. I am saddened by the pain that is behind this move. I am saddened by those who will see this as a good move. I am sad for my GLBTQ friends who understand themselves to be Church-less, or even worse separated from God, because we humans have been too good at alienating and belittling them. I am sad because there are people who will be glad-on both sides of this division. I am sad for the people who wish they did not live in and undoubtedly love the Diocese of San Joaquin but do not approve of this. I am sad for the people who wish they did live in DofSJ.
There are many people who feel excluded, ignored, and injured. And this is why I am sad.
There does not seem to be a clear correct path for us to walk down. There does not seem to be a way for reconciliation, for mutuality.
I am afraid that the most pastoral option we may have is to let them go. With grace. I am afraid that we won't. I am afraid that the Church DofSJ visions is not one in which I would be welcome. I am afraid that this will be dragged through the courts and that we will all become bitter and that this will be our legacy. I am afraid that this wound will not be healed. In my lifetime. Ever.

I disagree with several of their theological conclusions. I don't think that this was the way to leave the Church. I don't want them to go.

I think that my Church will be the poorer for the lack of their voices. I think that this gives us a way to not face the debate(s) we have within us.

I believe that our faith in the fact that Jesus Christ died and rose again to show us God's love and God's promise in our lives should be greater than these differences.

I believe that this is not great enough to stand in the way of Holy Communion with one another.

But apparently I am more alone in this than I want to be.

So, today, I am sad and I am afraid.

Because, today, there is good reason to be.